CNAS (To the audience): Welcome back to CNAS-Tale SHORTS! I had lunch with Christopher Walken!
Impact: Uhh CNAS, you are ya talking to?
VGAS: Are you a f***ing idiot? He's talking to the people at home
CNAS: See, this imped out god gets me- Oh my gawd, it's Violent Gilded Artist Sans!
VGAS: Wht's it to you, ya son-of-a-bitch original?
CNAS: I am your biggest fan!
Fell!TNF: You might wanna change that, since this guy can be a-
>VGAS shoots Fell!TNF in the chest<
CNAS and VGAS (Imitating Bon Jovi): SHOT THROUGH THE HEART!
VGAS: Heh, your not that bad Mr CNAS.
CNAS (Bowing down): Oh thank you my lord!
VGAS: Don't f***ing humiliate yourself you dumbass! Instead you can take us to the Mel Gibson guy who claims to be your brother.
CNAS: Ohhh, CNAPs... That f***er is gonna kill us all!
Impact: Well, we're practically an army, we can take him out.
CNAS: Well he can summon an ACTUAL army to kill us all!
VGAS: Remember, we got paint! We can make an army ourselves, now let's kill that f***er!
>CNAS draws a portal to The Picasso Pad, which was now a battleground with a bunch of crucifixes standing up, each one having a member of the CNAS-Tale crew tied to it<
TNF (Hanging from a crucifix): CNAAAAAS! THE F*** DID YOU DO!?
CNAS: I kinda pissed of me brother.
TNF (Hanging from a crucifix): Oh, you mean MEL F***ING GIBSON?! WOW THE F*** IS HE YOUR BROTHER?!
CNAS: Inconsistent continuity.
CNAP: HELLO, BROTHER!
>CNAP rides in on a horse holding a sword and sporting blue war paint on his face. Behind him an army consisting of extras follow him<
CNAP: Ready to die?!
CNAS (Imitating Dr Evil): How 'bout no?! VGAS, read the book!
VGAS: Don't tell me what to do, b****! >Clears throat and opens a replica of the 'Necronomicon ex Mortis' from the Evil Dead< Clatoo, verata, Nicto!
>An army of skeletons riding horses appear out of the distance, ready to fight the extras. VGAS and CNAS draw some horses for their crew<
VGAS, CNAS and CNAP: Cronies, attack!
>Both of the armies run towards each other while 'Riders of Doom' from the movie 'Conan the Barbarian' plays in the background. The fighting was an epic brawl with swordplay, archery and in the heart of it all, CNAS and CNAP fighting paintbrush on sword<
CNAP: You won't win brother, the script was mine and the outcome is in my favor.
CNAS: You ain't Jesus Gibson, you cast Jim Caviezel for that!
TNF (Hanging from a crucifix): CNAS STOP SMART MOUTHING AND FILL THAT F***ER WITH STEEL!
CNAP: It's he that will eat steel Flamer, NYAAA!
>CNAP and CNAS clash weapons together in a rapid flurry of silver and brown blurs. Impact, the CNAS-Fell crew and the army of skeletons cut through the extras, one by one overpowering them<
Extra: For Gibson!
Impact (Shooting the extra in the head): Eat magic partner!
>Impact jumps off his horse and shouts<
Impact: It's high noon motherf***ers!
>Impact pulls out his gun and uses rapid fire magic to kill the army. CNAS knocks out CNAP's sword while VGAS knocks CNAP out<
CNAS: Well, all's well that ends well, don't ya think?
TNF (Hanging from a crucifix): Can you shut up and get us down?!
CNAS: Sure! Impact, pass me a sword.
>Impact passes CNAS a marrow covered sword which CNAS uses to cut down all but one crucifix, before he is interrupted when CNAP wakes up, grabs a sword and rushes towards CNAS<
CNAP: Go F*** YOURSELF!
>CNAS puts his right hand out, which gets his arm sliced off. TNF bashes CNAP on the back of the head and holds him down<
TNF: Yeah, make sure this f*** is restrained you idiot!
CNAS: Whatever->CNAS is interrupted by his severed hand, which starts shaking and seeping the black goo which got on CNAS' hand. IRL TNF: See, told you it would come back later. Action box: The hand grows into a 4'6" skeleton, which looks like a mix of Gaster and CNAS, who ironically didn't have a right hand<
The mix (To CNAS): Are you my daddy?
CNAS: Probably am. Well great, now I gotta pay for more f***ing child support!
>CNAS goes into his contacts and presses 'Castellar.'<
CNAS: Hey Castellar, it's me CNAS. You know our kid, the one born out of a DNA incident. Yeah, well now I need you to pay his child support. Why, well cause I had another kid and I can't pay for 2 kids. What do ya mean we never got child support for LDMO? Oh, so just because he is an out-code meme he don't need child support? Oh for f***sakes. Well, guess this call was pointless, see ya Castellar.
>CNAS hangs up<
CNAS: Well, I gotta tell Gaster bout this...
The mix: Can we go home?
CNAS: Sure kid.
>CNAS repaints The Picasso Pad<
The mix: What now?
CNAS: I dunno. I gotta dispose of this bum called your uncle.
>CNAS carries CNAP away, running into a 'The End' credit<
The mix: So daddy, have you decided my name yet?
CNAS: Uhh, I guess it'll be... Professor
Prof: Professor, I like it. We'll need confirmation from father first.
CNAS: Yes we do Prof.
>CNAS and Prof walk into the grey door to say hi to Gaster<
CNAS: Hey G.
Gaster: Hello CNAS. Who's this?
CNAS: Iiiiit's a long story. His name is Professor...